Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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