I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Found the puke drawer
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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