pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
