READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
