my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
