She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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