I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize