does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
