Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
