nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
