next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
