Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
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That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
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The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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