I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I could fuck to npr.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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