i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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