You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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