i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
