Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
