I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
