Will you blow on my dice?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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