we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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