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one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Randomize
