I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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