We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
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