I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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