I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
