the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
