i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
