I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
