She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
