First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
