she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I am naked and annoyed.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
