Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
