Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
