Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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