u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
