worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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