How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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