We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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