STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
