I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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