like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
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