just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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