road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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