worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
