I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
