no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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