I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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