do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize