He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
