I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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