Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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