he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
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i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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