I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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