That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
