hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
