I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
