he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
