Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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