Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there