So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
