How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
