Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
