your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
