whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
