I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
