pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Randomize
