Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I had to cum in my sink.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
