I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
