Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
